Homem X Maquina

E se eu te disser que esse foi o resultado de um encontro entre o meu carro e um pedestre? Voce acreditaria que o pedestre esta vivo?
Pois esta. O cara estava bebado, entrou na auto pista em frente do meu carro, arrebentou a minha lataria e nao foi nem para a UTI.

Super homem?

Olha o bichinho de frente... Pecado!
E hoje eu voltei la no departamento de transito:

- Acidente com vitima ( por que eu aprendo coma s minhas experiencias, ne?)
- Acidente com vitima ?
- Sim.
- Predio 2


Como o carro tem que passar por uma vistoria para pegar o papel do seguro, eu nao reclamo e vou pro predio 2, espero na fila, quando chega a minha vez:

- Acidente com vitima ?
- Sim.
- Predio 3
- O quee?
- Acidente com vitima ?
- Sim
- Predio 3

Percebo que nao adianta discutir e vou pro predio 3, espero na fila, quando chega a minha vez:


- Acidente com vitima?
- Sim.
- hummmm

silencio inacabavel, e o cara me encarando

- documentos do carro
 entrego sem fazer perguntas...

Ele pega o documento, olha, sai, volta com outro cara, os dois olham, olham e desatam a falar em arabe.

- problema?
- que cor seu carro?
- verde
- Documento errado. Cinza.

Eu fico sem saber o que falar, entao nao falo nada. Ele me ancara mais um pouco e depois sorri:

- Ok. Pode ir. Predio 4. Paga 5 bds ( 20 reais)
No predio 4, o encarregado do meu caso estava tomando cafe, e quando ele chegou:

- Voce e o Ahmed? ( pergunta olhando PRA MIM)
- nao
- cade documento?
- com homem vistoria ( AHA! Eu tambem sei falar em ingles macarronico!)
- pega

Volto la no cara da vistoria:

- preciso documento
- por que?
- homem predio 4  pediu
- De onde voce e?
- Brasil
- vi adesivo carro seu. Rico - bom jogador. Brasileiro. Aqui bahrain
- Sim
- ele seu irmao?
- nao
- Bahrain nao gosta mais dele. Ele mudou time. Outro time agora.Ele gordo agora.
- triste
- Rico fala arabe. Mora Bahrain muito tempo.
- sim
- ele seu irmao?
- nao
- Ele parece voce.
- Eu sou gorda?
- NAAAAOO. Voce bonita
- Mas voce disse que ele e gordo e parece comigo
- Naoooo - voce bonita, ele gordo.
- hummmm
- faz favor pra mim?
- pede
- escreve meu nome em brasileiro?

eu escrevo o nome identico a versao em ingles - ele fica feliz da vida, me devolve o documento, eu volto pro predio 4.

- ve? numero errado. Carro do Ahmed. Voce Ahmed?
- Eu pareco o Ahmed ( ja perdendo a paciencia)
- Nao. Voce bonita.
- Entao. Nao sou o Ahmed.
- Eu sei. Homem numero errado. Seu documento certo. homem escreveu numero errado.
- E agora?
- Vai predio grande e pega documento seguro

Quandoe u vou saindo eu escuto:

- Brasileira, brasileira!!
- Uh?
- Pega papel, leva trocar cor documento. De graca.

Em minutos meu documento novo e emitido. Escrever o nome dos outros em "brasileiro"da sorte.

De la, vou tentar pegar a bendita papelada do seguro. No mesmo lugar de ontem. Quando eu chego um cara comeca a gritar:

- Fulano, ela ta aqui!!

Me levam pruma salinha no fundo do escritorio. O cara de ontem vem, abre uma pasta, olha, examina, mexe. Ai me pergunta as mesmas coisas de ontem. se eu conheco o cara que foi atropelado, onde ele esta, como ele esta...

Os amigos dele vem das outras salas pra olhar pra minha cara. Uns so ficam me encarando da porta outros se sentam do meu lado. Me da ate um frio na espinha.

Os homens falam:

- Fulano, homem bom...

Finalmente ele liga para o hospital e decide que nao pode me dar os papeis.

- Voce volta amanha.
- Ah nao volto nao.
- Homem bebado. nao posso dar documento.
- Nao posso mais voltar.

Ele sai da sala, volta pra sala... mais uma hora se passa...

- Amanha voce vem.
- Olha, eu nao posso. Amanha vem meu marido.

- Entao eu ligo quando papel fica pronto. talvez amanha. talvez outro dia...

Moral da historia: se eu nao pusesse um basta, ia ficar indo la todos os dias do ano! Por enquanto o carro fica arrebentado, e eu esperando o babaca me ligar

MY CAR

Today I went to the police station to pick up my car ( the one involved in the acident)

- hello. I came to pick up my car.
- Why?
- Because it is mine...
- Why is it here?
- Because it was in an accident
- What kind?
- car accident
- but why did they bring it here? no insurance?
- I have insurance. i have no idea why the brought the car here...
- let me see

a while later...

- ah! Accident with injury.
- ok. Where do I get the car from?
this is your case number, go to that building over there...

at the new building...

- I came to pick up my car
- why?
- injury accident ( see? I learn...)
- only morning
- why?
- it is closed. Closed two hours ago
- but you are all here
- just chatting
- I really need the car. the police sent me here now

 he asked lots of questions, asked my watchman lots of questions, seemed not to understand a thing, and then told me:

- you come back tomorrow
- I can't. I have no car
- if I let you take car, you come back?
- what for?
- hum...um... for documents. I let you take car, but no insurance documents

he asked us to go to another room, where he kept staring at me and asking questions to my watchman, who was the driver at the time of the accident.

- You hurt?
- no.
- where you hurt?
- no hurt...

- where is hurt man?
- don't know
- who is he?
- don't know
- is he well?
- YES!! SURE!

- hurt man lives with you, madam?
- no
- watchman lives with you?
- no

- Can i take the car now?
- if I let you take, you come back tomorrow?
watchman: - I will come...
- No you. She comes. You not come. You come, madame?
- Yes, I will come.

After 2.5 hours I left with my darling damaged car and the obligation to come back tomorrow, so the gentleman can stare at me a little longer!

O CARRO

Hoje fui la buscar o meu carro na delegacia de policia!

- oi. Vim buscar meu carro.
- Por que?
- Por que o carro e meu...
- Por que ele esta aqui?
- Estava envolvido num acidente.
- E por que ele veio pra ca?
- Nem imagino. O policial mandou trazer pra ca, nao explicou nada.
- hummmm

demora, demora, demora

- Olha, o carro ta aqui por que teve vitima. Esse aqui e o numero do seu caso. Vai la no outro predio por que acuidente com vitima e la.

no outro predio...

- Vim buscar meu carro. O numero do caso e esse.
- O caso ta fechado.
- Que bom, onde eu pego o carro?
- quem estava dirigindo?
meu porteiro responde: - EU!
- entao me da carteira de motorista, identificacao e visto de permanencia no pais
...ele da tudo...
- e por que voce esta aqui? (olhando pra mim)
- por que o carro e meu.
- ah... vem na minha sala

vamos pra tal sala

o cara me manda sentar e  fica me encarando

- amanha voce vem buscar o carro. Hoje ja fechou. Fechou as 2. Sao 4:30
- mas voces estao aqui
- so conversando. ja fechou. voce volta amanha. *ai olha pro porteiro e fala* : - Voce nao, so ela.
- mas eu nao posso vir amanha, nao tenho carro
- e se eu liberar seu carro voce promete que volta?
- pra que?
- pra...pra...pra pegar os documentos. por que eu posso liberra o carro mas nao os documentos do seguro

ai,ai,ai

- volto sim

O tal policial nos segurou la mais de uma hora. Olhava pra minha cara, procurava coisa na pasta, fazia perguntas pro porteiro...e nao liberava nada.

Sai de la depois de 2.5 horas, com o carro - mas sem os malditos documentos. la vou eu amanha outra vez!!

WHAT NOW?

If you live inthe first world and is not rich, please do not read this post, or if you do, try to imagine a different reality, in a place where labour is cheap and life is unimaginable without domestic help. Please don't judge me. Or do, but don't tell me.

Just remember I am a Brazilian girl, living in the Middle East. This is part of my reality.

If you understand the ultimate need of a house maid, please read, and HELP!

I had a gorgeous, efficient, brilliant part time Phillipino maid who was just perfect for me, but my hubby felt we needed a full time person, to clean after our mess day in day out. God, are we capable of messing the house or what?

After a long time looking for this person, I finally found someone to move in. She is only 23, very smilie and has great intentions. She comes from Ethiopia. The problem is her ability to perform tasks without screwing up, and my inability to train her or to deliver helpful, constructive feedback.

I will share my problems with you and hope you can give me some insight!

Creativity -  she hides everytinh she touches, and then she does not have a clue what I am looking for, because her English is very limited!

Initiative - She does whatever she feels like, feels ultra proud of it and I do not have the heart to tell her no one asked for it because we DID NOT WANT IT!

Organization - All clothes end up in someone else's wardrobe. I have instructed her to wash Anita's clothes one day, Lia's on the next, so she would not mix them up. She still does - and even mixes mine and Fabio with the girl's. It is almost impossible to figure out where our clothes are...No, she does not like asking questions.

toc, toc, toc - she wears the most annoying shoes, and makes this noise all day long.

more initiative - I told her not to wash my clothes, or Fabio's. But she does, and she mixes all colours and fabrics together - guess what? We have damaged clothes every week.

Responsibility - she left the gate open and my dog run away. The dog is very small and not road smart - we were lucky she was not killed by a car and the neighbor brought her safely home.
 Another time I explained to her she had to stay in the house every night when I was in London, so the dog would not be alone ( and would have fresh water and food every day). Nothing different from what she does when we are in the house, but she though I would not find out and simply locked the dog in and left for over 48 hours...

Aesthetics - my sculptures are always backwards, sideways or on the wrong place.

Honesty - nothing ever disappeared, but my creams seem to be very watery lately...

Cooking - she can not cook western food ( so I cook my own), but she cooks ethiopian food for herself, and the house stinks.
HEEELP!!!!

E agora?

To precisando de ajuda,de uma maozinha, de uma palavra amiga!
Ha um mes, troquei de empregada. A minha super ultra eficiente e maravilhosa ajudante Filipina so trabalha meio periodo e o meu marido ha muito vinha reclamando por nao ter uma empregada em periodo integral, que cozinhe, limpe a bagunca da casa depois que as meninas chegam da escola, que desemporcalhe arrume a casa nos fins de semana, principalmente depois dos meus jantares semanais. Sim, eu convido amigos para jantar TODA SEMANA!!

Bla, bla, bla...ja cansei voces?

Entao vai ficar pior. Segue aqui a minha lista de reclamacoes da empregada nova - e um pedido encarecido de ajuda, pitacos, sugestoes...

Ja explico que sai do Brasil ha mais de 10 anos e me desacostumei a ter empregada o dia inteiro me enchendo o saco , me ajudando, tambem ja nao sei mais como ensinar, nem como dar bronca sem fazer a mocinha chorar ( isso acho que nunca soube).

Uma breve descricao da mocinha:

Ela tem 23 anos. E Etiope e muito sorridente e bem intencionada, MAS

nao sabe fazer quase nada e fala pouco ingles. Ela limpa direitinho a casa, mas...

OS PROBLEMAS:

criatividade - ela esconde tudo o que ela pega, depois ela nao entende o que eu estou procurando e naos abe me dizer onde enfiou guardou, por que o ingles dela e limitado.

iniciativa - ela cisma de fazer coisas que ninguem pediu, fica ultra orgulhosa que fez e eu fico sem coragem de dizer que nao tinha pedido por que NAO QUERIA AQUILO!

organizacao - ela tem criterios proprios de organizacao ( principalmente guarda roupas) e as minhas roupas vao pro quarto das meninas, tem roupa de todo mundo em todas as gavetas, ela tem dificuldade em identificar ate as roupas do Fabio - unico homem na casa! Nao, ela nao gosta de perguntar!!

toc toc toc - ela usa um sapato que faz toc, toc, toc o dia inteiro pela casa. Esta me deixando LOUCA!

mais iniciativa - ja pedi para ela nao lavar nem a minha roupa, nem a do Fabio. Eu lavo, ela passa e guarda. Claro que nao funciona. Ela sabe muito bem que ela e responsavel pela casa, e SEMPRE lava tudo. Tudo misturado.Cores, roupas intimas, delicadas, tuuudo...

responsabilidade - outro dia deixou o portao abertoe  minha cachorra fugiu. O vizinho a encontrou a quadras daqui.    Enquanto estavamos em londres, expliquei claramente que ela nao poderia dormir fora de casa NENHUM dia, por que a minha cachorra nao pode ficar tanto tempo sozinha. Claro que ela deu sua escapulida e foi "pega no pulo"pelas madrinhas da Mia que vinham vistoriar a casa todos os dias.

senso estetico - minhas esculturas tem o dom de ficar de costas, de lado ou enviezadas. Nunca no lugar onde deveriam estar.

honestidade - nunca sumiu nada da minha casa, mas tenho a leve impressao que meus cremes andam um tanto "aguados"...

culinaria - ela naos abe fazer comida ocidental, mas tem boa vontade e quer aprender! O problema e que ela SABE fazer comida Etiope e a casa inteira fica com um cheiro ultra forte e desagradavel, da culinaria dela. Nao, ainda nao tive coragem de reclamar!

E ai, mocoilas e mocoilos, alguem pode me dar umas dicas???

Perspectiva e bom demais!!! Nothing better than perspective in life!!!

Foto tirada daqui . Pic from here

My life has been an emotional roller coaster latelly. My marriage is not at it's best, I am not working, I can't see much future in many relationships I engaged recently ( from friendships to professional prospects).

I can say things are far from ideal in my little world, but sometimes things happent o bring perspective into one's life. And yesterday was one of these days.

I was having a bad day, thinking my belly button was the centre of the universe, when for a second I realised my daughter could be in danger. She could be hurt, even seriously hurt or worse.

Then, like a movie, all my worries, all my anger, all my ressentment passed before my eyes - and it meant NOTHING.

None of of the pain I am going through meant a thing when compared with the possibility of my child being hurt or unwell.

So today I chose to live well, to invest in my marriage and in my family. I chose not to give up, to fight life's battles and to be happy. To be happy with my kids and with my husband. To be happy with or without a job.

To be happy with the life I chose. and to make it even better.

Thank God my baby is well.

Tenho vivido numa montanha russa emocional de deixar qualquer um maluco. Meu casamento anda sofrendo ( em 15 anos de relacionamento voce acumula muita magoa, muita bagagem, muita tristeza) e as vezes e dificil lidar com tanta coisa.

Mas o bafafa de ontem me trouxe perspectiva na vida.

Por um momento, eu tive panico so em pensar que a minha filha estivesse machucada, ou coisa pior. Num micro espaco de tempo, eu revi minha vida, meus valores, e coloquei no lugar o que e importante e o que nao tem importancia nenhuma.

Sea  Lili estivesse mesmo machucada, nenhuma das minhas crises ( marital, existencial, profissional, "amigál", territorial - to em bahrain, lembram-se?) faria a menor diferenca. Num momento, tudo isso perdeu importancia, deixou de ter peso, ficou insignificante.

Tudo o que eu queria era ouvir a voz dela, saber que ela estava bem.

Entao, a partir de hoje, e escolho deixar as crises para traz. Eu escolho perdoar os pecados - meus e alheios, desculpar os erros que todos nos cometemos e ver o mundo com outros olhos.

Eu escolho olhar as coisas boas, valorizar o bem, escolho ser feliz.

E sem pensar duas vezes ( depois de ter pensado um milhao) escolho cuidar do meu casamento e da minha familia. Eu opto por eles, acima de tudo.

E sei que tudo vai dar certo.Por que finalmente eu vi o que e importante e o que nao passa de besteira...

To be a white woman living in the Middle East can be challenging at times.

We arrived home around 7 pm. At 8:30 both my kids were ready to enjoy their social lives and were dying to get out, see their friends and have fun. Who can blame them? I would be doing the same if I were their age, and had their energy...

Anita went to a friend's house, not too far. Lia decided her trip HAD to be longer, and she crossed the country ( about 30 min) to meet her friends.

Our watchman is a wonderful guy and he is often driving our kids. It costs more or less the same as a taxi would, he drives my car ( which is safer) and we know he is a good, careful driver. And he is reliable.

We called him, and made all arrangements. He would drop them both off, then pick up Lia. Anita would come home with another driver, because she was near by. Both girls would be home by 11pm.

Anita called and negotiated a later curfew, got hers extended to 11:30pm.

At 11:45 none of them were home and I was getting grumpy. I called Anita whoa ssured me her taxi was late, but she was coming home soon. Lia did not have her phone on her - her sim card was under her dad's care ( God knows where).

10 more minutes and the phone rings. Our watchman sounded stressed:

- Boss, problem. Accident. You need come here.
- Is everything OK? Is anyone hurt?
- Problem. Mina Salman traffic lights. Come now.

Fabio jumps off the bed and starts getting ready. i decide to go wearing my giraffe pijamas. There is no time to change.

- Inaie, you better change. We may have to talk to the police.Amram does not want to give me details, he is not talking about injuries...

I put some clothes on and run for the car. On my way down I have an idea:

- Amram. Inaie here.Put Lia on the phone.
- Lia not here
my heart sinks...
- Lia not pick up yet.
my heart sings...

Amram is talking, Lia was not there at the time of the accident. We only need to find out if there were other people involved and if someone is hurt.

Fabio drove at 100 km/h. Cars were overtaking us fast and furious from right and left. If we were above speed limit, how fast were those cars going?

When we got there, we saw 4 police cars with lights on, and my car - on the middle of the road. No other cars. Amram standing ( Thank God) with the police.

- Hello! That's my car. What happened? What is happening?

No one replied, no one talked to me, until two men weaing thobes ( arabs probably) came around and told me they were witnesses and a drunk gentleman run in front of the car, not giving time for Amram to stop or avoid the hit.

I was terrified to learn there was no other car. A pedestrian had hit my car - and the damage was quite extensive to the vehicle (i could only think what had happened to the man).

I tried to talk to the police a couple of times, but they just ignored me. At some point they asked Amram to come and get the insurance card from me and that was about all the interaction that took place with us.

We stayed there, standing on the side of the road, watching the police take measurements, pictures and do their jobs. Then they told Amram he had to take the car to the police station.

The man just had an accident - I wanted to drive the car, to spare him from the stress, but when we tried to join him, the police just said:

- I already told you you do not need anyone with you. send them home. you come alone...

Fabio and I were told to leave the scene, go home and that was all what it was to it.

I tried to ask questions, no one bothered to reply. They only told me my car would be there for a couple of days. They would call me if they needed anything. I tried to figure out what was going to happen with Amram, no one replied.

In the car, fabio and I were as silent as one can be.

Things were rushing in my head. Amram has a new born baby. What happened to the pedestrian? What will happen to Amram? What can we do? Who can we call? Do we know any lawyers? Is he going to be in jail? What now? What now?

I got home, went straight to Amram's home. His wife does not speak English. She openned the door and said:

- Amram?

I tried to explain, she broke into tears. When I looked inside the small room, her gorgeous baby was fast asleep, looking like an angel. My heat sunk.

I called Amram and asked him to talk to her. I offered to help, to stay with her, to do whatever was necessary. They did not say what I could do to make things better, i could not think about anything. It was 1 am.

I went home. Fabio was talking to our landlord ( Amram's formal boss and his sponsor in the country), to Amram, to the landlord again. After a while it became clear that it would be better if Fabio and the landlord went to the police station.

I offered to go. The car is under my name. Both men decided I could not help and it was better to stay home. Woman, white, Middle East? I am nothing. I can do nothing.

The landlord was worried Amram would spend the night in jail, and being Thursday, the chances of releasing him on Friday would also be very slim. he would probably be there for a couple of nights.

His wife alone with a new born.Life upside down.Too many doubts. Too much fear...

Thank God the pedestrian was not in intensive care - Amram did not have a drop of alcohol in his system and he had witnesses. Fabio and our landlord brough him home.

He is now with his family. His wife is probably feeling much better. Lia came home with a friend and I am grateful Fabio took care of everything. All in all, it could have been much, much worse.