NAO ACONTECE SO COMIGO!!! SHIT HAPPENS TO OTHERS TOO!

foto daqui

pic from here

Tava la no blog da S.W lendo o que aconteceu com ela na academia, e nao resisti em contar a minha historinha tambem. S.W, obrigada por inspirar o post de hoje.  :-)

 Fui ao Brasil e comprei uma bota ( que nem era tao cara).
- Quer parcelar?
- Nao.
- Mas nao tem juro.
- Nao quero, obrigada.
- Mas e melhor para voce...
- Meu cartao nao parcela -e  emitido no exterior.
- Parcela sim. Todo cartao parcela.
E la foi a fulana parcelar o meu cartao...
A proxima coisa que eu ouvi foi um grito vindo la do escritorio da espelunca:
- ESSE CARTAO NAO TA ACEITANDO PARCELAMENTO! NAO TEM FUNDOS...
Nunca passei tanta raiva na minha vida. Ai a idiota passou o cartao em uma unica parcela e ele magicamente foi aceito.
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I was visiting SW blog ( sorry - it is in Portuguese) where she tells a story about her gym making a mistake in charging her montly fees, then blocking her access to the premises.
I could not help but remember a time when I went to Brazil on holidays and went shoe shopping. I bought a nice pair of boots. At the cashier:
- Do you want to pay in installments? ( Brazilian credit cards offer payments in installments without charging interest)
- No, thanks.
- But there is no interest.
- No thanks.
- But it is better for you.
- My card is international, it does not offer this option
- Of course it does. All cards do
And off she went to give me the installments option. Next I hear is someone yelling from the office:
- Inaie Ramalho! Inaie Ramalho! Your card has no money in it.

You can only imagine how furious I was when I heard that yelled across the shop.
Of course the funds magically appeared when they tried the normal debt.

Getting my documents sorted

I left Brazil  12 years ago and just now I found out  my "legal"situation  is not as good as I thought.

An imaginary conversation would go like this ( and in Brazil everyone thinks they have the right to ask for your IRD card, your voter card. I mean EVERYONE - shops, convenience stores even your manicure may ask for it).

Voter registration?

Cancelled.

IRD  card?

Cancelled.

Driver's License?

Expired in 2006

ID card?

Yep - I have that! But the photo was taken when I was 17. Is it still valid?

Fabio, who is a decent guy, decided to help me fix my situation,  and off we went knocking doors in public stablishments. I don't have to say it was a nightmare.

 To get a new IRD card, one needs voter's card. And in Brazil it is COMPULSORY to vote. Mine had been canceled because I lost 20 electoral turns (of course I transferred my title to  NZ, but the Brazilian  embassy in New Zealand lost my request and have no records of the request ...

They canceled my title, I had to request another one, sign some paers, pay some fees.

Luckily the place was empty, the attendant wanted to go home earlier and did not create too many problems. I did not mention I live overseas, I apologised for not voting, I just pretended to be a lunatic, who "forgot"to vote for 13 consecutive years.

To get the IRD card, I had to go to the Federal building 3 times and no one even talked to me about my problem.

- We run out of numbered tickets.

- But it is 10 am and you close at 9 pm. There is no one in the waiting room...

- Yeah, no more tickets. Besides, you have to go online and see what the problem is. Then you come here.

I go home, access the Internet, who send me to the Federal building ...

I go back the next day - same darn story. No more tickets, you have to look on the internet before coming here. I explain that the internet does not tell me anything, the girl apologizes, says she can not do anything.

As far as I was concerned, I was done. I could not care less if I had an ID card or not. I never needed it in the last 12 years, why would I suddenly need it now? But Fabio, that decent guy I married, was on a mission. He wanted to get it sorted once and for all. I kicked, screamed and cried, but I went.

In our third try, we managed to get a numbered ticket, giving us a place in queue to see a "specialist".

Elmer meets me:

- Your IRD card is canceled.

- I know.

You have to check what the problem is, you can do it online, than you pay a fee or whatever you owe  in taxes ... the payment can be done at the bank. 

- I can not access anything on the Internet, today is my last day here, I have no time to go to the bank. 

- Wait. I'll see what the problem is. There is only one situation in which I can solve everything here. Let me see here ... uhmmmm ... your CIC is linked to a company that used it's number, and the company is irregular, so it is blocking it.

- I had a business, in my past life

- Did you close it?

- Nope 

I can only help if  your company has been closed by the government ...

... I hope ...

Ooops! It's your lucky day. The company has been closed by the government. But I can only help you if it was closed for a specific reason. Among all the reasons, the system will only allow me to solve it for you if it is for one reason.

... I hope ...

- Look there! It was closed for abandonment. You do not owe taxes.

- Well,  I know that.

- And your declarations are also in order

- Yep

- You did everything right. And got lucky. I will reactivate your IRD card.

The guy printed a statement saying I have no debts, and I left the place with a brand new IRD card.

The officer who assisted me was incredibly competent and helpful. My biggest problem was to cross the door to his office.

oter's and IRD cards in order, I went tothe Traffic Department renew my license. The easiest process, right?

First I went to a broker who booked a time for me. Then I stood in a huge line, until it was my turn:

- I can not renew it for you. Your license is full traffic points.

- It can not be. I moved overseas 12 years ago. At that time there were no points.

- Look, they are all here ... many, many. Your license is not only expired, it is blocked.

The guy sends me to another queue, where someone could check "my"points.

I explained the situation.

- Do you have a car in your name?

- No.

- You do not have a car with the number plate XXXX?

- No. But wait - tell me what brand is this car.

- Corsa.

- A black corsa. I sold it in 2006. (This car had no A / C and I was carrying Anita, so I sold the corsa and bought a Palio with air conditioning. I only left Brazil in 2009 - 3 years latter)

- It is still in your name

- ?????

- And now?

You have to find the guy and transfer it ...

It is a lot easier said than done huh?

I almost killed myself trying to remember what did I do with this car, then fabioI remembered the transaction was made so I could buy the Palio. I signed the papers at the car dealer, who would transfer the car to the new buyer.

I left in tears. No one seems able to help me. I found out the car is still registered to my name, there are lots of  car registrations due to be done and dozens of fines. All under my name.

I called a lawyer.

He asked for the sales receipt? Of course I  don't have it ... This sale was completed 15 years ago ...

I have an ID, IRD and voter's card.I also have a car, a debt of fines and automobile taxes. And I have no idea how to get out of this pickle.

Amazon

After thinking and rethinking what is the best way to tell my extraordinary experience in the Amazon, I came to the conclusion the best thing would be to divide the five days we spent in the middle of the Amazon jungle by tales, since some of our days were very long, others had few stories to tell.

My first recommendation for someone who wants to venture into the jungle is very simple:  decide what do you want from this trip. Would you like to rest or explore the surounds? If you poor plan, you may find it all too exhausting.

I found the perfect balance ( with lots of help from the hotel crew, of course) : I had fun, had time to contemplate nature, read a little and play with the resident animals.

This post is really just an introduction to what lies ahead. I want to tell you all about our first day in Manaus, the trip to the Hotel Tupana (170 km in the Amazon forest), some of my experiences with people who I had the pleasure of meeting and even our interactions with the animals.

I hope you have as much  fun as I did. Welcome onboard!

BRASIL!! BRAZIL!!

Foi otimo ver meu pai me esperando no aeroporto. Eu nao o via ha 4 anos. Comemos uma coxinha quem inventou de meter catupiry nas coxinhas modernas??? e fomos pra Campinas. Viagem longa, mas a compania nao poderia ser melhor.

Adorei o meu comite de recepcao: pai, mae, sogro, sogra e as minhas princesas.

Agora so preciso fazer caber em tres semanas os quatro anos de atraso com amigos, familia e tudo mais!

*********

It was great to see my father waiting for me at the airport. I have not seen him for four years and I miss him like hell. My first stop was at the cafeteria, to eat some Brazilian delicacies. Stomach full, we drove to Campinas. It was a long trip, but the company could not be better.

I loved my reception committee: father, mother, in laws and my princesses.

Now all I  need to do is fit in three weeks, all four years I spent away from family, friends and everything else.

World Cup !!! Copa do Mundo!!!

Today I accidentally met Lia's teacher at school. She came to me and said:

- Hey! I like the note you sent about Lia's absenteeism. ( letter to the teacher)

And her husband:

- Well, no one else would be able to get away with it. Definitely not in England, but you Brazilians can...

I just laughed



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Hoje eu econtrei a professora da Lia na escola e ela veio falar comigo:

- Eu gostei da notinha que voce mandou sobre as faltas da Lia ( ver cartinha para a professora)

E o marido dela completou:

_ Isso nao ia funcionar com mais ninguem. Isso nunca ia dar certo la na Inglaterra, mas voces brasileiros podem se dar ao luxo...

eu so ri.

Footbal in Brazil

I was chatting with a Brazilian friend who lives in New Zealand today:

- My wife will have to reschedulle her flights, coming back from Brazil.

- WHYYYY?

- 'cause it is on Friday. And Brazil is playing. The taxi companies alraedy told people not to rely on them because they may be late, or not come at all. World Cup, you know...

- Wow! What about family? Doesn't she have anyone to take her to the airport?

- Her brother could. But he wants to watch the game too.

I thought it was hilarious. I left Brazil too long ago, I don't remember these things.

Today we also had good news about my kids travels. They will now be able to go to Brazil. The residence is ready, the paperwork is sort of OK and the bureaucracy seems to be a bit easier. We called the family to let them know:

- Great news. The kids will be able to travel soon. All sorted over here!

Celebrations on the other side of the line!!! WOHOOO...

- And I would like the girls to get there for your birthday, Leya (mother in law)

More celebrations!!

- They can travel as early as Thursday, so they get there on Friday and are ready for Saturday, the birthday itself.

- Friday? But on Friday Brazil is playing. There is a World Cup game. It will be complicated to pick them up at the airport in Sao Paulo. Send them on Friday, they can arrive on Saturday!

I did not find it as funny as the first story. Actually I did not find it funny at all.

I called my dad

- Hey dad! Where are you watching the game on Friday?

- At home. in Campinas.

- But I called your PA and she said you would see it in the office - in Sao Paulo.

- Nah... She doesn't know anything. I will see it here. Campinas. But why are you asking?

- Because I was thinking about sending the kids

he did not let me finish. he just interrupted me:

- My grandkids? Send them whenever you want - I will pick them up. I don't even want to watch the game anymore...

Isn't he the best?? Best dad ever!!!  Love you.

Letter to the teacher

Fabio is watching all the world cup games. He comes home, sits in front of the TV and does not move until all the games finish. I do not complain, or blame him, if I was passionate about something like he is passionate about football, I would just do the same.


I don’t care for football. But during the World Cup, my blood turns green and yellow and I also glue to the TV during OUR games.

My girls love it. They watch the games, they yell, they scream, and it seems they know what is happening ( I know when a team scores, and when they do not…everything else seems the same to me).

With the time difference, the last game of the day is very late at night, and Brazil has both the first and second games at 9:30 in the evening. The game finishes around 11:30, we chat a bit more, some friends have a bite to eat, we all end up going to bed very, very late.

I can’t possibly send the kids to school, and subject the poor teachers to two grumpy, moody, sleep deprived teenagers, so after all Brazilian games, I declared public holidays for school purposes in this house.



Today my younger child told me I have to write a note to her teacher and explain why she did not go to school on Tuesday. Here is what I wrote:



“Dear teacher,

In Brazil, football is taken very seriously. During the World Cup, the whole country stops. Shops don’t open, there is no one on the streets. Due to time difference, some of Brazil games are very late at night, and this is the reason why Lia could not attend school on Wednesday – she was very tired.

She is not coming on Monday either, because Sunday’s game is also very late.

Thank you

IR”



Yeah, I only hope I was clear enough…