A minha grama é mais verde que a do vizinho/ My grass is greener than my neighbor's

Ando numa maré de azar que poderia concorrer a um lugarzinho no guinness. Sério, não to zoando.
Sem ficar choramingando as mazelas, vou fazer uma listinha objetiva e direta, só pra provar que não sou nem mentirosa nem reclamona.
- Com a crise política de Bahrain, e praticamente certo que não vamos ter como ficar aqui a partir de agosto.
- Não temos emprego em outro país e a crise economica está correndo solta - os empregos não andam batendo á porta de ninguém ( não que eu saiba)
- Lia passou por aquela urucubaca de 5 semanas com dores lancinantes e sem diagnóstico. As dores diminuíram, o diagnostico ainda não veio
- A família inteira está tendo dificuldades em lidar com essa incerteza de futuro
- A minha chefe não é mais a fofa de antigamente, fui transferida para as garras de um louco de pedra que tem problemas de auto estima e insegurança crônica. Minha vida profissional que era um mar de rosas, está gradualmente virando um inferno
- Tivemos várias despesas extras ( e altas) esse mês. Justo agora que a instabilidade profissional está batendo á nossa porta

Tenho mais duas bombas que não posso confessar em forum publico para preservar a privacidade dos envolvidos ( se eu, que falo mal de tudo, todos e escancaro os barracos sem dó nem piedade aqui no blog não to tendo coragem de contar, imagina o tamanho do escandalo.). Acreditem em mim, se eu contasse, vocês teriam pena de mim. Muita.

Mas com esse redemoinho de "desgraças", eu abro o jornal local e leio a manchete:

19 pessoas morrem em incendio numa creche num shopping centre em Qatar.

Eu explico: 13 crianças, 4 professores e 2 bombeiros morreram asfixiados num incendio numa creche no Villagio no Qatar.
Os laudos estão confirmando que nem a creche nem o shopping atendiam ás regras básicas de segurança. Alarme de incendio não funcionou direito, a equipe de resgate foi lenta no socorro, a creche ficava num canto de difícil acesso do shopping, as portas corta fogo estavam trancadas, não haviam saídas de emergência acessiveis ao pessoal que estava na creche... e a lista de urubuzisses era enorme!

Uma família Neo Zelandesa perdeu trigemeos de 2 anos que estavam na creche. Uma familia Espanhola perdeu tres filhos de idades diferentes. Sete outras famílias perderam suas crianças e seis adultos ( todos trabalhadores estrangeiros) morreram no incendio.

Uma tragédia indescritível. Perdi de longe a competição pro guinness. Perspectiva é uma coisa maravilhosa na vida da gente...

A minha grama é definitivamente muito, muito mais verde que a do vizinho. E eu agradeço aos céus pelos probleminhas que ele está me mandando. 'xá comigo que eu tiro de letra!!!

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My lack of luck is probably putting me up there with the guineess most unlucky person in 2012.
Whith no intentio to make this post into a whinning post, I'll make a short and objective list of our recent mishaps, just to prove that I am neither a liar nor a compulsive moaner
- With the political crisis in Bahrain, we are almost certainly not going to have the means to stay here after August.- We do not have a job in another country and the economic crisis is in full swing - the employers are not knocking on anyone's door  and there are no jobs falling from heaven either  (not that I know)- Lia had 5 weeks of excruciating stomach pains, visited every possible hospital and doctor in town and we still have no clue what happened. The pain subsided, but we still have no diagnosis.

- The whole family is having difficulties in dealing with the uncertainty of our future-  My reporting line changed and instead of having an amazing boss, but instead, I reportto the most insecure, power freak of all times.My professional life was a bed of roses, but is gradually turning into hell.

- We had several high extra costs this month, all from different and unavoidable reasons.
I have two more dramas I can not disclose in the blog in an ill attempt to protect the people involved, but if you are a regular reader of this blog, you know I tend to talk about everything. If even I think that talking openly about it is crossing the boundaries, imagine how bad these issues are.

Believe me, if I told you, you would pity me. A lot.
With this avalanche of "misfortunes," in my mind, I open the local newspaper and the headline reads:19 people die in fire in a day care center in a shopping center in Qatar.Let me explain: 13 children, four teachers and two firefighters died asphyxiated in a fire in a daycare center at Villagio Mall in Qatar.The reports are confirming that neither the nursery nor the shopping met basic safety rules. Fire alarms did not work properly, the rescue team was slow, the nursery was in an almost inaccessible corner of the mall, the fire doors were locked, there were no emergency exits accessible to people who were in the kindergarten ... and the list of unfortunate hic ups ( or irresponsibilities) was huge!A kiwi family lost  2 year old triplets. A Spanish family lost three children of different ages. Seven other families lost their children and six adults (all foreign workers) died in the fire.An unspeakable tragedy. Readin these news, i realised I do not qualify for the guinness competition, and realized  perspective is a wonderful thing in life ...
My grass is definitely much, much greener than the neighbors' grass.


 

Bye Grandma

Today my nana decided to let go. She has been in intensive care for a month now, but she was finding it difficult to leave us.

I can understand that. If I were her, I would worry what would happen to us without her love, her care, her sweet words and her comfy food.

My mother once said my nana did not know how many children she had. Everywhere she went, someone adopted her. She had so many adoptive children and grandchildren, it was impossible to keep track.

She was the one who always had a sweet word for everyone. She never judged us, and man, did we give her reasons to... My nana never complained. She was never grumpy.

This woman was an example of faith and love for others. She had many, many tragedies in her life ( lost two children in less than one year, her daughter had a miscarriage on her first pregnancy, she saw many of her brothers and sisters leave this planet...), but she never lost faith. Never gave up.

My nana believed God knew what he was doing, and that seemed to be enough for her. She prayed and kept going.

My grandma taught us to be resilient. And to smile. She cooked and baked for us. we cried on her shoulder, we looked for her when we could not find anyone else to hold our hands.

Today she left for good, but I know she will be watching over us. I know she will be able to protect and care for her "family" the way she has always done.

I wish I was in Brazil. You never hear me saying this, but today is one of those situations when I really wish I was there. I would hug my mother and hold my godmother's hand. I would cry with my cousins and we would remember stories about our childhood. Monica and Fernanda would yell at me and Fabiola and say we were impostor grandkids, they were the real deal... I would place my head on Pedro's lap and let him sing for me until I slept. I would share all this pain I have in my heart with Deco. And it would make it all easier.

Thank you nana. Thank yu for helping me be a better person. Thank you for teaching me it is better to be good than nasty (  still struggle with that one). Thank you for choosing me as your grandchild.

Happy Birthday, Ian

Ian was our neighbor when we were living in the Emirates. He worked with FAbio and lived a couple of villas away from ours. We did not meet, until Halloween, then Anita and Lia went trick and threatening, and came back with this fab story:

They knocked on his door and he said:

- Would you like chocolate or sardines?

- My kids, did not even think twice: sardines, of course!!

He did not have any sardines and the poor ghosts had to come back home with chocolates. That was all he had.

When I heard this story, I knew he would be part of our lives. Somehow I was sure about it. He had to be. He was too fun!

Ian became part of our family. He had lunch with us whenever he could and he had dinner with us most evenings. When he could not be bothered, I sent him some food. The kids would knock on his door ( I hope) and deliver his meals on wheels. He adopted my children, and we were inseparable. His family could not come to live in Dubai, and he missed them terribly. Apparently my family helped a bit.

Ian went to parent teacher interviews at the kids school. He was there when Lia got her yellow belt at Karate. He carried Lia's b'day cake to the party when she turned 7. Ian told stories of his children, his childhood, his life. Ian loved entertaining people. He was born for the stage. And we all applauded him.

Ian went to my kid's swimming competition, he was in the audience when they performed their play at school. Ian yelled at their soccer coach when he thought he could do better. Ian was furious when Anita came home claiming a 10 year old boy had beaten her up at the playground. He put his shoes on, and said: no one beats up my girls!!

Lucky for all of us, the boy was gone by the time he reached the playground.

Ian took us shopping. We had ice cream together. He baby sat for us. Ian watched Shrek 2 with my girls over a hundred times, and laughed every time. Ian loved us. He loved us for what we are. He never expected anything else from us.

Ian missed his kids. He told lots of stories about Matthew, who looked just like him, and according to Ian, behaved like him too. And apparently was a great actor, guess like whom...

He missed his girls too. All four of them. Emma, his own child, and Cath's girls, who he adopted whole heartedly.

Ian made jokes. Ian laughed aloud. He played cards with my mother in law and helped us carry their suit cases when they were leaving the country. Ian bought us gifts. Ian was always texting his wife in New Zealand.

He took my kids to school sometimes. He picked them up other times. If he was not working, he enjoyed waiting for the school bus in front of our compound. Ian let my children mess up his hair. And put make up on him.

Ian listened to their stories. He bought coca cola and left his door unlocked so my kids could go to his place and help themselves - he knew I disapproved of soft drinks...

We went to the supermarket on weekends. We shared a washing machine. Very often I came home and all my clothes (including my undies)  were already folded, so he could use the drier.

He drove Anita to he doctor when she thought she was sick. He did not care it took him 3 hours in a stinking summer heat in the Middle East, just to find out she had nothing ( as we already suspected).

Ian enjoyed food. and a good conversation. Ian was a story teller.

Our assignment in Dubai came to an end and we moved back to New Zealand. He was in Auckland and we were in Palmerton North. Far away. But every month he came over. And cooked for us. He met our kiwi friends and made friends with them too. He helped in another one of Lia's bday party. He made us happy.

Ian black mailed Lia when she thought about going to a friend's house when he was in Palmerston North. It worked just fine.

He watched TV with us, he patted our cat and played with our dog. He taught Fabio how to make pancakes, enjoy maple syrup and do funny tie knots. Ian was generous. And fun. And larger than life, but one day he just left.

He woke up, and  fell next to his bed. Massive heart attack. He left us all orphans.

Today is his birthday. He would be 49. We love you. So much it is not even funny...

Replacement Parents

I just remembered when Anita (my oldest girl) was 7ish. One day she came out of the blue and asked:

- Mum, if you and dad die, who will be my replacement parents?

Of course I had no answer to this question. I had not planned dying, let alone giving my children away. I can only imagine one couple who is capable of raising Anita and Lia. Us, of course. Their parents. No one else.

But Anita, who never let anything go easily, kept asking the same question over and over, until I decided to have one of those long conversations with Fabio. Who on Earth would be good enough to raise our little princesses, in case we both kicked the bucket at once?

The thought of having our parents raising them was quickly discarded. There is a reason for the expression "raised by grandma"...

If we were proper catholics, we would just make sure the God parents were "ït". There are several problems with this option, though. The most important one is the fact that Anita and Lia have different God parents. No way we would consider splitting them. Another one is that we did not choose couples for the task. I chose the God mother and fabio the God father.

I am the only child. No brothers or sisters to call on.

Fabio has two brothers. One is a delightful guy, who was almost 40 and just refuses to take things seriously. I don't believe he is going to become ana dult anytime soon. Don't take me wrong. He is wonderful. And a great professional. We could imagine him taking the girls out, having lots of fun with them, but I don't think they would ever have to wash behind their ears.

Lucky for us, Fabio has another brother. The one that check all the proper parenting boxes. He has two gorgeous girls who are well balanced, well structured and seem happy enough. His wife is Lia's God mother. It all seem to fit.

We spoke to him. Told him to discuss the matter with his wife and give us an answer. If they agreed, we would craft a will, where we would leave our most precious "assets" under their care, in case we passed away.

It did not take long for them to accept the "job". They called back saying they would raise our kids as their own. And we indeed registered our will.

Anita, only 7 was not afraid of death, her biggest concern was with the future and what would happen to her and her sister, if something went terribly wrong. We got it sorted out for her, and I confess it makes me a bit more comfortable, knowing they will be ok, if we just leave without notice.

Hairdresser

It is amazing how some people pass through your life and leave so many memories. I had this awesome friend in Auckland. We worked together for almost 2 years. Every time I went to a hairdresser, I left earlier because my salon was in the other side of the city, so I had no other choice.

Every day after my hairdresser appointment, I came back to my desk and found the following message:

- YOUR HAIR LOOKS STUNNING!

Funny how it never ceased to impress me. It always took me by surprise and made my day.

Of course Simon was clever enough to go write the note straight after I left the room, so he would not forget.

Simon has passed away less than a year ago. A massive heart attack took him away from us, but every time I go to a hairdresser i think about him and can just imagine him smiling down at me and say:

- Your hair is great!

And I can only Thank God and the destiny for letting Simon be part of our lives. Even though it was for such a short time, he left many, many incredible memories!

Losses, losses, more losses

This year was very tough for me.
First I lost Simon. He was a guy like no other. ALways keen to see people's good side, alwyas ready to help. And so he did.

He was the first person to believe in me. Simon gave me my first job in New Zealand. And kept up with my moods and my immaturity. Simon saw someone I rarely see when I look at the mirror.

He was my friend, my confident. He slept my hand when I needed it, but always wiith love. And man, did I love him...

When his son told me he had just died, I was in orlando with FAbio's family. 9 Rochas and me. All I could do was hide and cry. I would not be able to fly to Auckland to be with his family, and would not be fair to ruin FAbio's family holidays.

DAys later I received another message: Beth had also died.
She was an amazing influence in my life. She met me when I was 14 and helped me see what really mattered in life. Beth was crazy. And fun. And a free spirit.

She was a communist when the dictatorship was full on in Brazil and in the name of freedom she was tortured and separated from her love. She never became bitter. She never complained.

On her journey, she met FAbiana, and raised her as her own daughter. She helped Faby grow wings and tought her how to fly. What an amazing woman FAbiana turned out to be...

And now, just recently, dies Ian, my wonderful friend who lived next door to us in Dubai. He adopted my family, he embraced my friends, he took care of me. And most of all, he loved us for what we are.

SAme as Simon, he just woke up one morning, stood up and dropped dead right next to his bed.

I am not sure how to cope with so many losses. To loose one of them would be unbearable enough, but ALL?

I keep crying, swearinga nd complaining. And hoping they found a good place in heaven or wherever they are now. I know they deserve it.